~22~

Today is going to be a pretty busy day because I have to get a lot of work done for school or I'm going to be screwed. Yesterday I didn't study as much as I should have, partially because I was depressed and feeling like shit. I can't exactly tell you why, it was a combination of things. I, however, no longer care about what was bothering me last night because it's a new day. I'm gonna make the most of it.

Today my to-do list is this:

-Make Youtube video for my giveaway. This is pretty important because today IS the drawing day and you know people are checking back to it.

-Study math for 2 hours.

-Study Biology for 2 hours.

-Study Japanese for an hour.

-Run 3 mi.

I'll probably write more later. Mom's in San Deigo right now so I am not gonna see her for a few days. That means a LOT of cleaning.

yours,

Emily

GossipGossipGossip-- ugh!



Nothing is worse than when you have absolutely no plans except for to study for upcoming tests. I'm dreading just the thought of it. Yet, if I do study a little each day, like a couple hours, I'll do WAY BETTER than if I cram it all into one day. I've gotta biology test on monday, which means I need to print out all of the chapter handouts and answer the questions to prepare. I'm wondering if she has the answers posted yet. I'm not SUPER concerned about it, but because I do not understand these chapters that we've worked on in biology the past couple classes, I better study much harder than the previous ones.

Now math. I totally bombed the last quiz, and realized how much I didn't understand the current material. It's funny though, i was able to complete my homework relatively fast in comparison to the first chapter, but this last quiz just totally got me. I am going to study for it a lot today, too. I think if I give two hours to each subject each day until the quiz, I'll be good to go. I have tomorrow and Monday for math and I just have tomorrow for my biology. I can always study on the day of the test too.

Rhiannon's luau party was pretty fun! I saw a lot of the kids from the drama program at ki-be, as well as Collin's girlfriend (I forgot her name), and some of Rhiannon's friends and cousins. I hung out prodominantly with Kat Landoe, Daisy Metcalf and Caitlin Sweeney. I'm a bit concerned. We played truth or dare, a big group of us, and I ended up saying some things during Truth that I typically don't tell a group of people. I am just hoping nothing is said by anyone. Though the thing is, a lot of people said stuff that was pretty crazy too-- though I don't know how much of it was bullshit and how much wasn't. At least I'm not in highschool anymore, and I don't really care what anyone says about me to anyone. Nobody has any proof of anything. I'll post pictures of the party on my facebook later. My mom has the stupid camera cord IN HER OFFICE. fuck!! I'm so done with all of OUR stuff being out there!! She just takes stuff, then leaves it in her office like the next person won't need it.


Things got sort of lame toward the end when I got a text from Sheldon saying, "Guy never left." As in, Guy never left to Hermiston, and that he's been in the tri cities this whole time. At first I was like, wow, wtf? But then I asked him how he knew. Did Guy tell him this? I guess he was at a party with Guy and Cory and a bunch of "people" (didn't identify who) said that Guy never left. At first, I believed Sheldon, but then I got to thinking about it.

On Sheldon's side of things, yes Guy IS shady. I know that. But I do still consider him my friend and I'd rather not dig into his business. But because I hate being lied too, this pissed me off. Guy and I were just talking that day before I went to the party on facebook IM, just pretty much catching up with eachother. No indication of any lying or Guy trying to hook up with me again or anything. He said that he was in the tri-cities for the weekend and if I wanted to hang out at some point or party with him to give him a heads up. I'm not really interested in partying, but it was nice to get the invite I guess? That being said, if he never DID go to Hermiston at all, then he LIED to me, and that's bullshit! I hate lying.

On Guy's side of things, I do have a tiny ounce of trust in the fact that he live down there, at least for awhile, because the last time I saw him I helped him pack and he was completely broke. He probably wanted to get out of Cory's house, considering that Cory and him weren't getting along that great (when I'd been over there the last couple times, at least). But I DID think it was kind of weird that he'd leave as soon as his daughter was born.

So this is what I think. Though I do think that Guy did move down to Hermiston for awhile, and might have his stuff there, he's still been coming up here for days at a time to see his daughter and party.. thus why people thought he never left. Because he was probably coming here once a week at least, which is enough to make people think he was living here.

I just really think Sheldon shouldn't be giving me word of mouth when he doesn't know what he's talking about. I never asked for a spy in regards to anyone's life, and I personally don't really care that much what Guy is doing with his time and where he is living. However, if he's going to be my friend, he shouldn't lie to me. I fucking hate lying. But Sheldon shouldn't continually try to bash on him to me either! I don't even want to be involved in any of this. Sheldon is butthurt because Guy owes his DJs money. This has nothing to do with me.

yours,
emily

Going to a luau party! And a rant about sexy versus unflattering one-piece swimsuits.



So, the lonnnnng awaited Luau party for Rhiannon is in about two hours, and I'm happy I have a plan for today other than going to the bank and getting some information for my job up at Burbank. I'm still intending on taking the job at Nuveau if I am offered, but I am probably going to arrange my hours at Burbank based on when Nuveau needs me, if they do. Neither job seems to have that many hours available, so I should be able to afford it.

Our dishwasher was just fixed and my dad made a complete ass of himself to the man that was here. He kept on leaving, so I kept on having to find him while this poor serviceman just stands there trying to be patient. I wish my dad would just be normal once and awhile about stuff like this. Like he was all yelling about how my mom "bailed." Uhm, she went to work... like you should probably be doing, but instead you're working on the shed outside. I think that shed has caused a lot of problems, and all because of stupid fucking Ty continually harrassing my dad to get off Grandma's property.

Recently my cousin Anthony was in the hospital, though I have no idea why because I'm not in contact with that side of my family anymore. I'm sort of assuming it has to do with his feet. He runs and walks on his tip-toes, which I've heard indicates some sort of physical disability, so maybe they're getting that taken care of so he can run properly. My aunt apparently posted a status about it and my mom read it, but I haven't heard any of the details. All I know is that my aunt Terry and my Grandma were in the hospital with my cousin, but that doesn't indicate that my cousin's mom was in the hospital as well. I haven't talked to Traci in ages either, regardless of the fact that I think she's the only one on that side of the family that doesn't hate me.

So, I thought today i'd do a rant on..

One Piece Swimsuits

I'm going to do a little rant on here about one piece swim suits. I honestly think they are the ugliest things ever on anyone over twelve years old if they look like the one pictured above. I know that for some girls that are a little bit bigger and want to cover up their midsection, one-pieces are a must, otherwise they'd feel like everyone is staring if they are wearing a two piece. But to be honest, I think that wearing a plain cut one piece is the most UNFLATTERING suit on ANYONE, big or small.

I remember being about in the 5th grade and being sort of chunky and wearing a lime green one piece like the one above. Not so flattering. I remember feeling fat wearing it.

There are other, much more flattering one pieces for bigger girls. For instance:

This black swimsuit is very flattering and slimming.

Halter tops are really flattering on practically everyone.

Again, really flattering halter dress.

Color is important too. Though this swimsuit is super vibrant, it's really gorgeous on tan skin.

That being said, I do not know why some bigger girls that choose to wear one pieces tend to settle for swimsuits that are plain cut and don't flatter anything! It doesn't matter what size you are, every woman can be sexy in a swimsuit.

And it's not just big girls too. The same goes for all body types. Personally, I'm curvy I have a booty so I tend to try to find bikini bottoms that are more boy short cut so I don't have my ass completely hanging out.

Then there are girls that are super-super skinny that shouldn't wear swimsuits like this that make them look even MORE flat chested and boyish.

Just thought I'd do a rant on this. Gotta go get ready.

yours,

Emily

What a boring ass day.

Today has been boring as Hell.

I got up at about 10 AM, got ready to go meet up with Shawn and some of his friends at Howard amon, and waited patiently for my mom to get home from the hospital. Well, as time passed it got closer and closer to 12' and I realized that I was trapped because I didn't have a phone, nor did I have my car. Katelynn was going to meet up with me at some point today, and then we were going to go to this park meet up thing, but that didn't happen because I had no way to get ahold of anyone. Katelynn was over at Zach's all day getting her hair done, anyway, so I wouldn't be able to get together with her up until this point anyway. She's on her way here right now.

I got a new phone today. It's an Android, and it makes me mad because I can't figure out how to use it very well. I mean, I can tell why people get so hooked on these things. It has apps, internet, everything. It'll definately come in handy-- more so than my other phone. Unfortunately though this new phone is very complex and hard to figure out. But it does have a nice calorie tracker on there that i'm going to use. Haven't gotten a call back from Nuveou yet, and I really hope I do...

I keep on having nightmares. Like every night, my brain is clouded by these awful thoughts in my sleep. Like last night, I had this dream I drove out into the middle of nowhere and there was a blizzard all around me. I had no idea where I was and I was scared, and I was talking to my mom who told me that she needed to know where I was to come help me. I then realize I was at the Conoco in Benton City (it's a dream, I know it's weird), and go inside. All of the people in there suddenly turned and gave me a death glare-- sort of like the movie Inception when the girl from Juno is in Leonardo Dicaprio's dream and everyone is staring (lol)? That's how I felt. I remember running, and them chasing after me to come get me to... Idk, kill me or something, because when they found me I woke up.

Another very scary dream of being in danger and feeling very unwelcome in a situation happened this morning as well, and I remember it freaking me out to the point that I didn't want to go back to sleep. Because so many times i'll wake up, go to the bathroom, and it seems like the second I shut my eyes again i'm back in this creepy dream.

So overall today hasn't been a great day. I failed a math quiz, on top of it. It's only worth like 5 points, and even if I just got 2/5 it'll still drop the quiz that I missed. I hate math quizzes, they make me scared because you can see the timer ticking. Even if it's a sufficient amount of time, it makes me anxious and makes me go way, way slower.

I'm pretty lonely, to be honest with you guys. I hate that feeling. I haven't been able to see my friends as much as I'd like too because I have nothing to offer because i'm broke. It's a pain to be with a broke person... And it seems like everyone has been busy 24/7. I wish I was that busy, though I probably will be if I do get a job here soon plus the job in Burbank. Regardless, when I'm completely lonely it makes me not motivated.

Right now, I'm getting that yucky anxious feeling like I want to do exercise.... I think I'm gonna do 50 sit ups.

Yours,
Emily

I can feel it in the way your blood and heart beats.. ~18~

Believer, you'll leave her, in leaving them all (No, but I don't buy it)
Like anything you do as anyone you are
(Ten speed if I must, then I must)
Believer, you'll leave her, in leaving them all (No, but I don't buy it)
Like anything you do as anyone you are

~10 Speed Gods Blood Burial~Coheed and Cambria
(one of the many songs this summer that I've listened to a lot)

Right now I'm sitting here in the living room, and it's silent in here because I turned off the TV that my sister had on, which of course woke her up. It makes me laugh, she can sleep when the TV is on but the second I turn it off it's as if I turned it up full blast and she makes this annoyed, whiny groaning sound like I just intentially woke her up.

Today I have my job interview at the spa, and it turned out really good. Though I can honestly say now that I am a little nervous about the job because it sounds like HARD work. Like, constant running around, constant cleaning, constant doing. This is fine, of course, and I'll get the hang of it if I do work there, but there is still a chance that I can get the tutoring job in Burbank if this doesn't work out. My mom needs some information from me though, like my drivers license number and some other stuff. I'll have to give the info to her tonight. This spa job is my first priority though because it seems like a great opportunity to get some work experience. If everything works out as planned, I should be very busy here soon and have money coming in... which is so important. More then likely, I'm going to have to postpone certain University plans-- again..
...But shit, you know, I'm 19 years old, I'm broke, and up to now i've been plowing through school so fast that I haven't gotten a chance to look at the big picture, and when I go up to Central I'll immediately have to choose my major. Is that really what I want though? My Mom even said that she doesn't think Central is that exciting and that I should look into other stuff, which I intend on doing. How great would it be to go to school up at UW? And if I do have a good nest egg in place, I will have time to get a job when I go up there and my parents won't have to pay for as many of my living expenses. I don't even KNOW what my major is yet.

That being said, I could be around the tri cities for longer than expected. I'm ashamed by this because of how many people I know have already left to a university but I'm more focussed on my own life and not what other people think of me or how they judge me.

You know what I hate? When a song comes on that reminds me of someone and then you want to talk to them again. Someone meaning someone that I haven't been talking to at all since he went down to Hermiston. I don't know if I nessasarily miss him, but I can't help but wonder what he's been doing. I can understand why things worked out the way they did though-- our worlds are completely different, and I don't think he's actually attracted to me in a way that he would want to be in a relationship anyway.

It's understandable-- I'm 19, he's 25. I'm going to college and will be leaving the tri cities sooner or later. He's... I don't know, he claimed he'd be going to CBC at some time, but I'm pretty sure he's going to end up getting settled in Hermiston with some job that his family is hooking him up with. He's looking for a wife, though he only admitted this once (after he claimed that I somehow make him think about how his life is going), he's looking for someone that he can start a family with. I can't provide that for him at all because I'm not looking for that for 4 years+. All I want right now is to date and have fun with someone, and have him be presentable enough to bring around my friends. Is that coming anytime soon? Probably not. I really don't have interest in anyone-- especially not sexually. Which is ALL guys that are my age are looking for, it seems. And I can honestly say, now, that it would just be a huge disappointment.

I need to clean the kitchen, eat some lunch, then I'm gonna chug a bunch of coffee and go to school. I've been really exausted today and haven't been able to shake it. I ended up falling asleep on the downstairs couch. No blankets or anything. That's such a rarity for me. I'm usually very picky about when and where I sleep.

yours,
Emily

Heyy sexy girl ;)

Very rarely do I feel happy or sexy about the way that I look, but I can honestly say that right now I am feeling very good about the way that I look and feel about my body.

No, this isn't my body, but honestly my abs are getting pretty close. No, I'll never have thighs like that-- I'll always have curvy thighs but I accept it and I actually accept how my body looks.



Today I got a spray tan, and the women I went too did an excellent job. It was $30, but I'm planning on maintaining the tan by spending time outside. I feel very pretty. I have been doing pilates every single night and so my body is pretty well toned, and along with the tan now, I think my body looks bangin'. Like I feel like I could enter a bikini contest and not lose miserably! So maybe the tan look is good on me, and if I do get this job, I might want to keep up spray tanning. I don't know if this will benefit my chances of getting the job, but with my new found confidence it can't hurt anything. I also bought a new outfit for the interview and a new pair of slacks. Spending money to make money? Yep... I'm going to make it an early night tonight after I do some pilates. I'm already getting sort of tired from running around with Lindy tonight.

I have to do a lot of schoolwork tomorrow before my biology class. I've got a worksheet for math and have to get my biology labs proofed. And this is after the interview. I'll probably just go straight from the interview to CBC so I can get a chance to study for my math test next Tuesday as well as the biology test on monday that is going to be REALLY hard. Reason being, I really don't understand the biology material right now.. like it's all really new to me. We're talking about proteins, again, but this time using proteins from goats to help cure a disease.

Ugh, my eating habits still aren't as good as they should be, and I need to keep trying to improve. I am so hard on myself and even if I try hard to eat healthy I know it's not good enough. I need to make goals.

GOALS for 7/27:

-Drink water throughout the day.

-Eat one serving of dark leafy greens

-Eat a yogurt and a whole wheat bagel for breakfast.

-DON'T GET FOOD FROM THE VENDING MACHINE. Pack food from home for lunch!

All I can do is do my best, but today I didn't do my best. I ate a small piece of pizza, some pad thai from the mall, and even a small kids size ice cream cone from Dairy Queen (ended up throwing away most of it because of the guilt). That's BULLSHIT. That stuff will make me fat and it's not worth it! 

Yours,

Emily

Planning weeks ahead of time to keep on top of things.

I'm at school right now in the computer lab and I'm happy to say I've just completed two lab reports-- now I don't have to worry about it later, woohoo.



I'm starving! I packed a lunch of two onigiri and some salad, which is sitting out in my thermobag in the hallway. I packed this because I can avoid getting any food from the vending machine. Not that I could even if I wanted too, I'm bone broke. Hell, I'm concerned I've cut into the credit line already. And I'm not spending any damn money until I get my first paycheck from whatever job I end up getting-- which could be in weeks. It's going to take a lot of strength to not spend this money that I don't have. It's a humbling experience being broke... But my car is filled with gasoline that my mom got me me and I can survive on food at home. This will probably be healthier for me anyway, eating out is expensive and bad for ya.

Not saying that white rice is any good for you, but considering that I'm going to be starving by the time I eat it, it's got a pretty low calorie yield in comparison to a cheeseburger or something. The kitchen at home is still a wreck, even if I did most of the dishes and whiped up a bit. It's still pretty messed up... My mom isn't gonna be thrilled when she gets home. At least I made an attempt to clean before I left.

Tonight my plan is to get one of the two sections of my math homework done, and I'll get the other part done on Tuesday. I have a math chapter test coming up here on August 2nd, as well as a lot of homework that's due this upcoming saturday. I also cannot afford to miss Quiz 4 on Thursday so I need to have that at the back of my mind. I just wrote it down in my schedule, and I'm going to have to keep on top of this every day this week.

Luckily, without much money and partying, it is easy to stay focused on school because I'm trying to keep myself busy.

I have a job interview coming up and when they ask me about my availability I'll have to mention the test on Tuesday and how I occasionally have math tests (every couple weeks) as well as my Biology class hours. Apparently they are looking for people for nights and weekends. Weekends I can do no problem, but I'm busy on Monday and Wednesday night which might mess up my chances of getting the job. Ashlyn put in a good word for me to get the interview, and I am very thankful that she did.

I mean, even if I don't get this job, it's still really nice of Ashlyn to do. I really, REALLY do hope I get this job though and I'm going to get together with Katelynn to practice for the interview at some point. It'd be great to get some income. I'm tired of feeling like a homeless person begging my parents for money.. It's the pits, especially when my sister is earning money and I'm not.

yours,
Emily

Kuro Neko Con 2011~ Day 3. More of a Halfday

Finally getting a chance to write about this. Unfortunately my memory of the event has faded slightly, but I'll do my best.

Kuro Neko Con Day 3~ Final Day

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, having actually slept for the first time in the hotel on the floor. My alarm went off at 7 AM but I snoozed it a couple times because I figured I didn't have to run over to the maid cafe that morning to set up and also wasn't in any rush to bomb out of the hotel room. Metallica's "All Nightmare Long" alarm goes off AGAIN at about 8:20 AM. I was now getting hungry and a little crampt on the floor, so I got up and hopped in the shower.

When I got out, unlike the previous day when I brought my clothes into the bathroom with me, I'd realized I'd forgot. So I very, VERY sneakily tip toed through the room wearing my big towel and found some athletic clothes in my bag and tiptoed back. I got dressed and started brushing my hair out. Samantha got up, and asked me if breakfast was still downstairs. I said it was so we decided to go down there.

Breakfast was A MADHOUSE! Apparently middle class white American families get up at 8' AM, haha. Seriously, this hotel was all white people it seemed. When we went in the previous day it was all old people because it was super early. Why do elderly get up at the ass crack of dawn? We ended up sitting next to an older couple that looked pretty unamused by the amount of noise in the breakfast room.

When me and Samantha got back up to the room, everyone was still sleeping. I started doing my makeup and hair, and as I did so began getting packed up and organized. The previous night they were playing this crazy card game and in order to make room threw everyone's stuff up on Shawn and Samantha's bed. Therefore, everyone's stuff was everywhere. I remember every time I went around the room to go find something I would also look around to see if anything that was mine was laying on the floor. I'm happy I did, I didn't end up forgetting anything.

I started waking people up at 9:30 AM or so, knowing that the room was a disaster and everyone was going to take awhile to pack. A couple of the guys took a shower, so I ended up packing my shampoo and conditioner that I was sharing with everyone last. About half the bottle was gone at the end of the trip, which made me realize how much big families have to spend on things like that. Samantha didn't like my shampoo and conditioner because she said it made her hair greesy. I warned her that it was a professional product and that you can only use a tiny bit or it does that. It's a color protectant and doesn't really work for much else.

When people started packing I was practically done and so was Samantha, so she came with me to run a load of stuff down to my and Shawn's car. In the elevator, people were staring at us in full costume. A couple kids got really excited when they saw me and asked why I was dressed like that, and I told them I was going to an anime convention when the elevator door was closing. It was so cute, they were staring at me from the top window of the hotel. Then I noticed other kids were too.... I was dressed as Alice from Alice in Wonderland... well, a sexier version, haha, but they still liked it. It made me happy.

Before we left, we took this picture. We used the car as a tripod. I'm unsure where louie and Patrick were at this point. This was after we got all checked out in full costume. Rather embarrising, haha, but the chick at the front desk seemed rather entertained.



I drove to the con with Eddie on the second day, blasting Tech N9ne, which he seemed indifferent about. I just wanted to play fun music.. hadn't listened to much rock on the trip at all. He encouraged me to turn it down when giving directions but it wasn't even on that much louder than our voices. Like, all he'd have to do is speak up a little and I would turn it down to listen. I wasn't TOO excited for the actual con, so I wanted to get pumped up.

When we got there, I parked and we walked up to the school. I was talking to him about debating going to the cafe, texting Tyler and Dave, and wondering how today was going to play out with all of the math homework stress. When we got into the building, I was looking at the pamphlet at what was going on (or my little paper note with times on them) and decided that it'd be fun to go to improv. I look up, Eddie was gone.

Yes, this picture is effing horrible, which is why I didn't upload it. It was kind of a joke. But all day my hair was misbehaving. Probably fried from chlorine.

I met this kid who had a box on his head, and we went into the improv room. We watched these skits that made absolutely no sense at all, and I got sort of bored but didn't know where else to go. I couldn't go to the maid cafe because I was super late and didn't want to piss people off. I decided this was a good place to wait for Shawn and Samantha though.

Meanwhile, I was texting Dave who wanted me to go to some other panel, but then ended up meeting me there.

We sat in here for like an hour and a half. Look how sweaty and tired I look, haha. This is probably my best sex hair picture of the con. And, just to clarify, no I wasn't actually doing that. Just in case this is too convincing.

Dave did a really good job doing improv himself, though a lot of people in the room couldn't do it at all. Dave was trying to convince me to try it myself, but I was like NOOOO way, I suck at that, plus I curse too much and didn't want to unintentionally say shit and get in trouble. We left, and Dave tried to drag me to do flippin kareoke to the damn pokemon theme song. I was like NONONONONO. But then I thought to myself, do I really give a rats ass what any of these people think? Seriously.



So here I am, singing the pokemon theme song. The most embarrising thing I've done in a long time. It was pretty hilarious though and I kept on cracking up throughout the whole thing. I can't believe Dave manipulated me to do that. Damn him.

Dave ended up meeting up with his girlfriend and I got a text from Patrick and Louie saying they were heading home. This reminded me that I needed to leave soon, too. It was about 12' PM. I texted Dave to say thank you for completely humiliating me and to enjoy the rest of the con (in a friend sense of course because I didn't care that it was humiliating haha). I ended up finding Samantha, Shawn and Eddie and we walked around the vendor hall for awhile. Samantha was getting some custom art done, and I was standing there talking to the three Asian guys and this one guy that was dressed as.... as....

Idk he's the one on the right in the blue bathing suit. He actually seemed pretty normal, regardless of the unbelievably creeptastic costume.

He asked me if I was dressed up as Alice, and I had to ask Samantha what the name of the character I was again. Apparently, I look like someone from "American McGee's Alice," and Samantha seemed pretty annoyed that I asked her. I probably did look like a noob but I didn't care that much. I honestly told the guy it wasn't a cosplay at all and that I just got it at a sex shop. He was like, "OH, that's a leg avenue costume! Those are hot!!" And then they took pictures of me. I was rather satisfied that I managed to get away with not actually having a legit cosplay and people still taking pictures of me.

Me and Sam in the vendor hall.

The last thing I did at the con was go to this How to Draw Manga class, and realized that I really had no interest in drawing anime at all anymore. I sat there and drew a realistic face on the piece of paper they provided instead. Samantha didn't seem particularily interested either and drew a picture of mini moon for me on a tiny slip of paper, and I looked around and MOST of the people in the class were doing the same thing! Drawing on there own!

I think the reason being was that practically EVERYONE in the class had probably drawn anime extensively before, so they were in there to get advanced tips from a professional. Nope, it was only the basics, and that woman that was teaching it did a terrible drawing on  the board as a representation of how you are supposed to draw it and talked to us like she was a Kindergarden teacher. Eddie drew a skeletan.

I ended up leaving the con after the class, bidding farewell to some friends from last year.

We spent a lot of time with these guys last year, but me and Samantha don't talk to them as much as Nicole does. So more than likely we would of spent more time with them (and Patrick) if Nicole was with us. They're from over by Couer D'Alene.

I went out of to my car, changed clothes, and headed out all by my lonesome. Felt good though, felt good to be done with the trip. I was anime'd out. Suddenly in writing this blog entry I feel extremely nauseous from taking a prenatal pill on an empty stomach. I'm trying to eat an apple so it stops.

I was hungry and needed a coffee, badly.. But I wanted to get out of Spokane first. I took the Seattle exit home and made it until about Cheney before I wanted something to eat. Right outside of Cheney there is a town called Sprague, where on the highway sign is a restaurant called "The Viking." Shit, good enough for me. I got off the Sprague exit and went to this little tiny diner right off the highway.

Inside there were a couple tables with elderly people, one of which being all women eating hamburgers and french fries. There was also a Dad and his kids, and a biker sitting at a table drinking a cup of coffee. They all gave me sort of funny looks, even if I wasn't in costume it's almost like they could recognize that I wasn't from around there.

There was only ONE lady working, doing both the cooking and the serving. She asked if I wanted for here or to go, and I said for here because I was in no rush really. I sat down and realized that she was trying to crank out milkshakes, which meant it was going to take awhile for my food to get done. I didn't get my menu for about ten minutes, which was surprisingly extensive for the size of the place. I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and fries to go, as well as a nice big cup of coffee. She said she had just brewed up a fresh pot. Yay! Trying coffee at different places is a highlight of almost all of my trips.

I went into the bathroom while she was making it, and I noticed that the walls were COVERED in people's names from the past 20 years. Like it would say someone's initials carved in the wall, then a number. Most common was from like 82'-96'. Felt like a piece of history in there. I wanted to carve my initials in too, but I didn't have a pocket knife. I like how one said "YOU ALL SUCK" with up and down arrows around it.

The sandwich and fries was good, I ate it on my way home and then when I got sick of it double knotted the con bag around it because I didn't want to smell the greese. Ugh, still feeling nauseous, damn it!

I made it home safe, the house was a complete disaster, and I was happy to be home.

yours,

Emily

Holding onto those berries for dear life.

My sister bought strawberries and I peeked in her back from Wal mart and she was like "THAT'S MY FOOD." She gave me a handful, but all I can say is food around here is very slim pickins. I ate campbells soup for dinner, and had taco bell for lunch.. That's the thing about not having food in the house, you tend to eat out more. And I hate that because I have no money... We're all gonna have a huge grocery haul on Monday when my mom gets paid.

I have good news though. I might be getting a job. I applied to another job today and turned in an application to a really nice place that Ashlyn refered me too. She said she'd put in a good word for me, so I'm very excited and hope I get a call from them. It'd be a great job for me. If I do get a job, and end up making good money I might stick around the tri cities for a quarter and just work full time and make a nest egg before going up to central. We'll see.

yours,

Emily



"My boyfriend cheated on me with you so you better back off!!" LOL wtf message.

My mirmee is such an attention whore.

She'll flat walk up, stand right on my computer, and jump down and meow if I don't have her sitting right on top of my chest where I can't type things. She comes to my door every few minutes and meows for me to let her in, and the process repeats itself. Wow, what a demanding pet this cat can be.

I've had a pretty productive day. I've cleaned quite a bit, and filled out the final application. I am really hoping I at least get an interview... that would be a confidence boost in itself. I have to give it like three days, and if I get no e-mail back my effort was futile. Still, it's effort and my parents will appreciate that. This would be a really good job, and it'd be fun to work there. Not only that but it's pretty close to home. 

Here's Miranda again. Sitting on my floor. Staring at me, then licking her arm, then staring at me again. Then she sort of ponders around and smells things, then rubs her head on things. It's funny, I'm so used to cats being around that I rarely pay attention to the funny little things that they do... Lol, now she's having crazy attack sneezes.

Right now I'm making some soup. It's been hard dieting when there's not very much healthy food in the house but I'm making due. Mainly eating a lot of cereal... but my Crispex is now out and all I have is this shitty generic raisen bran that tastes like shit because it's too damn branny. I mean it tastes like sandpaper. And I think kirkland was trying to make up for that by making the raisens sweeter, but they don't NEED to be sweetend. This was a generic FAIL, tastes nothing like real raisen bran. And of course there's a whole giant costco box of it. I'M MAD ABOUT THIS.

 ..okay, this soup is delicious. It's chunky beef and has veggies and noodles in it. Campbells chunky soups are pretty good, and they're not bad for you either. I think a whole can of it is 400 calories, and the sodium content is pretty high, but I don't drink the broth part of it which probably downs the salt significantly.

So I just checked my messages on my phone, and I got a call that said something like this:

"Uhm yeah, I can't believe I'm doing this... Your supposid boyfriend was doing me way before he was doing you, and he cheated on me with you. So yeah, you need to get that through your thick skull and back off. Seriously. So YEEEAH maybe we could get together sometime, maybe paint our nails! Like seriously!"

Then hung up. It sounded... really weird. I originally thought it was Dave's girlfriend Andrea. Not because she's immature or anything, but because the voice sounded sort of like hers and Dave was the most recent person I'd talked too. Not that me and Dave have anything going on, but we are friends and sort of liked eachother last year. I called him and Dave denied that she said anything, and then I talked to her.

Andrea said she was sleeping last night and that she didn't have my number. GOOD. I was really happy it WASN'T her, because I actually LIKE Andrea and more than likely she's going to be at future anime cons or whatever I go to in Spokane and I don't want her hating me.

Then I thought about Guy. Honestly, having not talked to him in a week or so, I couldn't help but wonder maybe some girl freaked out after seeing the picture of us as his default. Maybe if he DID actually have a girlfriend and cheated on her with me that she just now found out or something. It sounded weird, though, considering that it doesn't seem like Guy wants to be tied down with anyone considering his baby and stuff.

I called him, and he was apparently cleaning his Dad's barn (he's still down in Hermiston), and said that he didn't have a girlfriend and that his last girlfriend was his "Baby's momma", Ashley. I don't think Ashley would be calling me.. and even if she did I don't think she would sound like a 12 year old. Besides, she has a boyfriend anyway and wouldn't care much if I was with Guy in the first place.

So it's a mystery. There's no call back number. I'm sort of assuming it's actually my cousin Zoe prank calling me because it sounded sort of like her. Still, it was sort of a pain in the ass to have to call Guy and Dave to investigate. I've only gotten one other call like this, and it was from Mariah Muth about Mitch Misset and me hanging out. The weird thing about THAT is that me and Mitch hadn't been hanging out in months and we had nothing going on at all at the time. So I've been thinking back even further.

...My last boyfriend was Indy. That was forever ago. Like this last winter.

Anyway, I gtg. Just thought I'd share that with yall.

yours,
emily

56.7% Done with my homework, so I'm gonna write. ~12~

Hey guys guess what?! It's now Day 12!! Do you know how proud I am? To be honest I didn't think I'd make it this long... but now that I've aquired some new information, I know I'm on the right track.

So proud I'm drinking a little leftover spodi, doing my math homework, and hanging out with my cat Miranda. I honestly couldn't be happier. The best part is, I'm actually now UNDERSTANDING my math. I am really starting to understand what we're doing in the chapter. There's hope for me yet. I'm not too stressed out about the biology test, basically because I got extra credit and I know that it's not going to be TOO horrible. I know I got a lot of them right because I did study quite a bit, but this next week I'm going to study even more.

I am applying for a job right now. Won't post where because I want a good shot at getting it, but I really need to get a job because my Dad is bitching at me every single day about not having one and acting like I'm a slacker or something. This hurts my feelings, because I feel like both he and my mom think I'm mooching off of them or something and the only reason that I don't have a job is because I haven't made the effort to look. I could put in more effort, but I get nervous that I'm just going to keep on applying and nobody is going to ever hire me because of my lack of experience. I just want someone to give me a chance... hopefully sometime soon, I'm broke as shit. So broke, ridiculously. I just want my parents to be happy with me, I'm tired of feeling like I'm an inconvience to them.

When I get done with my homework I am going to go downstairs and play Just Dance, more than likely. It sounds like fun. Today when me and Katelynn went on a walk I don't feel like it was an adequate workout, so I'm going to do a little bit more working out before I go to bed. It's funny, Katelynn has lost a lot of weight without working out but she diets very well. Me, personally, I can't diet particularily well at all... it's super hard for me. I can if there is healthy food in my house, but I love popcorn and oreos and all sorts of bad food and so I have to work out to make up for it. I'm also gonna do some pilates. Pilates and cardio works very well for me, and I feel like i'm in the best shape of my life. But right now I'm drinking spodi, and the calorie content (EMPTY calories) probably isn't grand and I'll need to work it off.

My phone is off. I don't really feel a need to have it on right now. I think I might of missed some plans with Ashley though which makes me sort of sad, but I am planning on getting this homework done tonight so that'll benifit me tomorrow. or today. It's going to be "today" in like 40 minutes... honestly won't be done by then. Whahh. My teacher can see how long it takes me to do my assignments, and sometimes because I dink around in side windows like this, it takes me like three hours. She must think I'm a total dumbass, haha. Or a very slooooow worker.

...Couple more questions down. I keep on changing my subject according to how much of math i've done. I'm pretty sure in a minute here I'm going to really crack down on it because it's getting late. Still, it's just SO boring. : / I think what I'll do is this, every three problems I do I will reward myself with a youtube video. That way, I'll get it done, but I'll still not get bored and unmotivated. Because when I lose the motivation, I quit until tomorrow, and then I'll end up having more work to do tomorrow!! Boo!!

I'll just stop talking now.

Yours,
Emily

Kuro Neko Con 2011~ Day 2. Maid cafe, running on an hour of sleep...

Kuro Neko Con Trip, Day 2

I woke up very, very early, running on very little sleep at about 5:30 AM. I went in the bathroom, got undressed, and tried to turn on the shower. Pulled the shower thing forward, turned it, lifted that little nob thing.... nothing was turning on! I was annoyed. This shower was like a puzzle. After about five minutes of trying, I yelled out to Samantha, who was still sleeping... "Samantha how in the Hell do you turn this shower on?" I was sort of laughing at myself. She was sleeping pretty hard, so Shawn yelled back "Pull the nob!" I go back to the shower handle, and yank it. Nope.

At this point, I had a towel wrapped around me. Eddie straight busts in! No knock, no nothing, to turn the shower on. I was like... uhh, wow. o_o He messed with it for about a minute, still couldn't get it going, and Patrick came in. I was like, "Uhh, hi everyone." Eddie got the shower to turn on, then they left. Interesting and awkward way to start the morning. I got into the shower, got clean and got out. I had brought in my PJs so I had something to wear while I was doing my hair and makeup without having to wear my somewhat tight and itchy costume all morning.

Me and Samantha were the first ones to get ready. Notice the cat shirt, lol.

Samantha was the next one to wake up, and we went down to breakfast together. There was a pretty good selection down there. Note: I was NOT in my maid costume at this point, but in my PJs, just saying. It was about 6:30 AM. I got myself half a bagel, a piece of wheat toast, yogurt and a glass of orange juice. There was a tempting waffle machine but with my blood sugar I would just be hungry again in an hour. Had to at least try and go whole grain.

We went back up to the room where everyone was still sleeping, including Patrick and Louie on the floor. Shawn was sort of getting up. I finished up my makeup, including those awful fake eyelashes, and put my costume on. Samantha helped me lace it up, and I was concerned about bending over and people seeing my underwear and felt very uncomfortable. Patrick and Louie got ready really quickly, and were done about the same time that I was. We all decided we would drive up together, though I warned them that the con didn't open until 11 and they might be stuck waiting around. Luckily, they had a little tilapia that morning so were pretty laid back about everything.

We stopped at a Walgreens and Louie did me an awesome favor by going into the store and buying me a Tide to go stick just in case I spilt coffee all over myself. I didn't end up needing it, but it was very helpful of him regardless just to know that I had it just in case. I'm pretty sure if I didn't have it I would of spilt at some point, that's just how these things go. Here's me and Patrick sitting in the car.

We got to the con at about 8:45 AM, and I went to the back cafe area to meet up with Cara and Miyuki, aka Maid Sama. They were basically the bosses of the establishment for the two days because they had done it the previous years.

Here's a picture of me, Kellsey, and Jess (or Lavariel) the morning when we were setting things up.

Getting the maid cafe set up was a LOT of work!

It would of been a lot easier, too, if I was in my normal work outfit of athletic shorts and a t-shirt. We were wrapping up flowers, putting labels on treats, figuring out how to make everything on our menu (mainly drinks), putting drinks in ice, learning the ropes of HOW we execute doing a maid cafe, etc.... There wasn't really anything out of the ordinary about our serving. We were just pretty much told to be like waitresses. I was expecting us to be more forward and touchy like in a real maid cafe but I was happy that we didn't have too. There's only one man right now that can get close too, but other than that I don't like touching anyone. Not even putting my hand on someone's shoulder or anything. I'm not really a touchy person.

We put up a lot of decorations. Mainly streamers and such. Me and Andrea did a really good job at wrapping up some poles with pink and white streamers, and there were little butterfly stickers put up. Most of the stuff was pretty gaudy, but it was meant to be that way.

Me writing up the menu "Specials", which were basically homemade goodies....

The cafe openned after openning ceremonies, and I was assigned to be one of the waitresses. Me and a couple other girls, like Sakura (her real name is Sam), Kellsey, and Autumn were all asked to help and serve people food. It was a tough job. After about an hour I was kind of wishing I would of been a hostess. I liked the attention though, it was fun. I got tipped a few times too. There was one table that Sam gave the menus too (and flirted with) that I gave drinks too and smiled at a lot. They ended up tipping us $20! Cha-ching! This wasn't much though because at the end of the day they were going to divide up the tips between all of us. If it hadn't of been this way I would of made $15, but I can see why it was that way. How were the hostesses supposed to get tipped? Or the girl that had the hard job of clearing tables and helping with drinks? It was very fair how it all came together.

I didn't actually end up getting any tip money because as soon as it was over at 3' before the Ouran Host Club came in I flat bailed. I was like, wow, I've been in here since 8 am without break and haven't been able to see the con at all. So yeah... wasn't really planning on coming back the next day when I had to leave early anyway. So I let them divide out the tips amongst themselves and cut me out. I figured that it'd only be like $3 or $4 anyway and I really wanted to find my group.

All of the maids. (I'll write a little about my experience with each.. Starting from the left)

• Kara. She was our boss, and set everything up. She was very kind to me when I talked to her on the phone about maid orientation and I appreciated her overall patience with me. She was very organized and pretty nice to all of us during the con, and appreciated the work I put in on the first day.
• Andrea. This is Dave's girlfriend and I spent a lot of time sitting and talking with her when the cafe got slow around 1 PM. We both got pretty bored at the same time.
• (in back) Gina. She is SUPER gorgeous. I'm pretty sure she's Italian or Spanish or something. She was really friendly with me and laid back but helped me a lot with making drinks. She came in sort of late and she didn't talk to Kara before the con, but because she was dressed up and worked last year Kara was fine with it. I'm happy she did work with us.
• Miyuki. I'm unsure what her real name is but apparently her nickname is "Maid Sama." She did a LOT of the decorating and made the table settings look really nice. She kept really busy, even in our down time, so I didn't talk to her very much.
• Sam, or Sakura. She was one of the first people I talked to when she showed up, and she reminded me a LOT of Carmin Vaughn for some reason. We talked quite a bit too, and I really like her. She said we should meet up for Sakura Con. : ) It'd be cool to get a big group together next year. She seemed to have prior waitress experience.
• Kellsey. She was sort of the cutesy one of all of us. She made her WHOLE costume herself, which was really cool in my opinion-- even the pleats. I sort of guessed she might be LDS because her dress had that reserved cut with the small shoulder covering sleeves, but turns out my judgement was wrong. She was super nice and I liked her too. In fact, I liked everyone that I got a chance to talk too in the cafe for the most part.
• Jess, or Lavariel. She got on my case about people not being served, even if I had been running around like a maniac trying to get everyone covered. She said that "people were complaining." This was right at the beginning when everyone was flooding in, and it made me a little on eggshells and had to step up my game. This was really the only contact I had with her, she seemed cool though. She dated Brooke Combs for awhile.

After I left the maid cafe I called Samantha and Shawn, but Shawn didn't pick up. I then called Eddie and he said they had left to get something to eat. It was about 3' and I was sort of sad that they left without trying to get ahold of me at all. I figured they just thought I was still working, so I called up Patrick and he said he and Louie would come get me.

I ended up walking around the vendor hall a bit, and try to take in what people had been doing all day. It was a lot like last year, lots of nick-nacks for sale, LOTS AND LOTS of art vendors. Probably more art vendors this year than last year. Shawn noticed a significant difference but I didn't really get a chance to look that much. I had found Sarah from my Japanese class and we walked together for a bit.

These guys were in the vendor hall and they wanted a picture of me so I took one of them, too. The one on the left was really hot, admittedly. I'm sure a LOT of girls at the con thought so too because it seems like anime fanatic girls are mad about Asian guys. They were selling mousepads with boobs on them.

Patrick and Louie came to pick me up pretty fast and we went back to the hotel room where I ate some ramen, popcorn, a rice crispy treat.. whatever I could get my hands on. I was STARVING! I hadn't eaten since 6 AM and it was about 4 PM when we got back to the hotel room. When Shawn, Eddie and Samantha got back Eddie noticed the wrappers and I just laughed at how much I had ate. I thought the food was for everyone, and I thought he'd be happy someone had eaten at least some of it.

We then started getting ready for the rave. I pretty much just touched up my makeup-- for *some* reason I had been breaking out sort of badly, and put my hair up into a ponytail. I wore the typical black tank top and shorts, like I always wear to raves. Next time around I'm gonna bring my rainbow socks and some bright makeup or something, but this year I spaced it. I didn't even think I would be going to the rave but because they had a DJ this time around I was stoked.

I went with Patrick and Louie to the rave, but we took a-- errr, side trip. We drove around the city and enjoyed some Tilapia, just to relax. They didn't plan on going to the rave but wanted to swim at the hotel. They dropped me at the school, after being a little lost and paranoid, and I said my goodbyes and thank yous and met up with Samantha, Shawn and Eddie. Eddie and Shawn were playing Magic the Gathering and I could hear music coming from inside. I was pretty excited, it was about 6 PM.

The Rave

I was pretty stoned and exausted in this picture, to be honest with you. I was wearing Louie's nametag that says "Big Brave" because I didn't end up getting one after being a volunteer. I got my volunteer name tag on the second day, but nobody seemed to notice that my nickname on my tag made no sense what so ever. It was between "Big Brave" and "Poopsicles" or whatever Patrick choose as his nickname on his tag. I thought Big Brave was a little more believable, even if i'm not the large Mexican man that picked it. If anyone asked I'd just say it was a soccer nickname or something.

Samantha said that this time spent outside with her boyfriend and Eddie playing magic was the best because it was so peaceful and nice out. The same thing could of been said for me, I had just had my best time of the trip too. I was pretty ready to go dance though, regardless if it wasn't really a RAVE-rave (the kind where people are on Ecstacy and dancing until 2 am... I mean this one started at 6 and was supposed to end at 11'... hmm...). Me and Samantha went in first, and met up with Sarah Welker and her group. They were playing hardcore music, and I was having a blast dancing too it even if I usually hate dancing. I've found that dancing to hardcore music is pretty fun though because there's really no right or wrong way to do it like in hip hop. Lots of crazy nerds jumping and running around, it started out pretty good.

Samantha was annoyed as hell that Shawn wasn't in the room, and we went back outside after two songs to go get them. Shawn sort of bitched that they would be in in just a second and that we should of just waited. I didn't really care either way but I knew that it meant a lot to Samantha to have a good time so I came with her. Once Shawn was in, Samantha started having a way better time too and we all danced for about a half an hour before I met Naomi.

Naomi is this really pretty girl from Priest Lake that wanted to dance the whole time like I did, so we danced together for like two hours. We got pretty pissed off by the fact that a lot of the people in there were just standing around instead of dancing... You have to have almost EVERYONE dancing for it to be a good time. I just think people got insecure, and we just tried to make the most of it. At some points, it was just me, Naomi and this girl dressed as a Panda. Really fun. : )

I danced off and on with Samantha, Shawn and Eddie and realized that they had left the room at about 8:30. I went out and asked what was up and they said that they were ready to head back. I was starting to get annoyed with how many people weren't dancing too, so I decided I was fine with leaving. I said my goodbyes, and we got in the car.



On our way back, I asked about what everyone did that day because I didn't get a chance to see them much. I was also talking about how much fun the rave was until it got lame and how much fun Naomi was. Samantha told me that she thought Naomi's outfit was sort of gross because she was wearing a really high cut shirt that says "Trash" with her bra sticking out the bottom. Eddie and Shawn agreed, and I did understand where they were coming from. But, I had to defend her case on the fact that because it WAS a rave, she was probably expecting it to be like 102+ degrees in there and so she dressed really skimpily so she wouldn't get too hot. I saw girls in there with there shirts completely OFF, even if it was only 100 or so degrees. Samantha and me got in a bit of an arguement in the car about this for like 10 minutes or so but it passed. I think she thought I called her immature, which then I had to defend that I didn't call her that... It was pretty stupid. I understood where Samantha was coming from, but at the same time I felt that because it was a rave you can't really judge how someone is dressed.

After the rave me, Shawn, Eddie and Samantha ended up going to a sushi restaurant after stopping back at the hotel to get ready first and decide if we wanted to go out to dinner or not. This place was really nice, and there were little plates of sushi going around on a conveir belt. We ended up getting a big bento plate for about $12 and it was super delicious! I immediately knew what I wanted-- the sushi bento, which had 4 pieces of cali roll, shrimp tempura, some random weird seafood tempura thing, and three pieces of sashimi. Great deal for $13.50. Eddie couldn't decide what he wanted, so I recommended the katsu. We all ended up getting the bento deal except for Shawn who got beef teriyaki with vegetables and rice. He ended up pretty much picking out the beef. I think his dish was only like $8 and it was HUGE! This was a great place to eat.

I was already done with my meal for quite some time when they got done with there's. For some reason I seem to eat way faster than most people. Shawn and Eddie fighting over a piece of chicken or something, haha. I ended up getting sesame balls from the convier belt that were filled with anko paste, and had everyone try them. Everyone actually liked them, I was surprised!

Pool War

When we got back to the hotel, I went down the the pool to go sit in the hot tub for awhile. Again, it was busy as hell. I got into the pool, not really caring about my hair as much, and there were about 10 little boys swimming around and splashing eachother, along with me, Eddie, Patrick and Louie. Patrick began a game of tag, and wanted me to play,  but I didn't want too. So I told one of the kids that looked about 9 or so that my group said they could beat them in a game of tag (hahahaha). Immediately, they started a game. Three 9 year old boys against Eddie, Patrick and Louie. I got into the game too for awhile, and we all played for about a half an hour. It was fun because we were getting killed, these kids could swim super fast. About 40 minutes later, I was pooped out and called an end to the game.

I went back up to the room, hoping to get some sleep. I was pretty beat to shit. Everyone was on the floor playing a game that Louie brought that is like this crazy war game that takes forever. I was on the floor uploading pictures and working on the math homework. Samantha lended me her computer because it had a card reader on it. So I was sort of excluding myself from the game, but they didn't seem to mind much. Afterward, I got up on the bed and started playing my DS. When everyone started settling in, someone said SOMETHING that made us all start to laugh our asses off, I had no clue what. We laughed and made a TON of noise until like 1:30 am and I'm like "Guys I really don't want to get in trouble. shhhhh" But at the same time I was laughing my ass off too.

I decided I was going to sleep on the floor, and Patrick jumped up on the bed so he would have a place to sleep. Eddie didn't seem pleased by this, and he was like "Emily get back on the bed right now!" I just laughed and let Patrick sleep up there. Patrick is totally straight, and even if he was gay I doubt he would actually try anything. Yes, Patrick and Louie joke around about gay stuff a lot but they're not actually that way and Eddie should just calm down, haha. I was about to go to sleep on the floor when Tyler Davenport messaged me because he was freaked out by some movie and we ended up talking on the phone about it in the bathroom. Pretty interesting night.

Wow, three hours to write this. I better get going. I'll write about day 3 later. Should be a lot quicker than this. Sorry this entry was so long, I just really want to be able to remember everything before I forget.

yours,

Emily