Screw you valentines day, I'm going home!

Mad respect. 

The ones that have really mastered it appear to have feet that fly across the floor. 

Wow, I just watched the most incredible documentary. 

Irish dancing isn't something you hear about much in the US. When you see the sequined dresses, extravagant makeup and pincurled hair it almost seems reminicent to beauty pageants but when you realize how much talent these kids have it blows your mind and doesn't compare.  If you have netflix check out the documentary titled "Jig."

What I think makes this dance form so respectable is that the judging is incredibly objective. Smile, looks and personality are always part of the desired total package in any dance competition but Irish dance is judged primarily on accuracy. Each competitor has a different set of judges that are not even allowed to communicate to one another to ensure fairness. 

Uhm, let's see. Today's Tuesday. I did my discussion board assignment for management and practiced my guitar a solid hour. I had a really late start today because I was unable to sleep last night. I've been kind of depressed off and on. I don't like valentines day at all. Every year valentines day reminds me of the guy that I like and the girl that he's out having a fabulous time with. 

While Terry's with his Californian bimbo I'll be back home in the tri cities this weekend. Luckily Radcon is also valentines day weekend so I'll forget about it. This year Radcon should be quite interesting. I'm going with my friend Jonathan and helping volunteer for a couple hours at the front desk. That'll be great because I'll see all kinds of people in my catwoman costume. This year I'm also going to be prepared with a couple changes of clothes for the rave and stuff. 

Of course I'm sure I'll see Rhiannon! And lots of other tri cities people that I went to highschool with that I only see once a year at this thing... The nice thing about this year is because I'm volunteering I'm barely going to have to pay for anything. Every year this event has a way of draining my bank account so this year I'm going to prevent that by being more prepared and resisting impulse buys. I do of course intend to buy a a necklace from the jewelry vendor though. Gotta pick up my little souvenir. The one I picked last year was so ugly!!! 

peace. 

Don't need no man, got yo' own bands, put up yo' hands

You guys ready to twerk this weekend? Whooo!!! 

Well I suppose that doesn't go out to all of my readers. And I apologize to those of you that are offended or distracted by the Twerkgif. But in spirit of the fact that it's Friday in 15 minutes I'm leaving the gif the way it is and those of you that are offended can just scroll up. 

I'd been looking for workout music and came across this playlist earlier: 

http://www.complex.com/music/2013/02/the-25-best-twerking-anthems/

That is also where you can find the rest of these twerk gifs.
No homo.

Not on the playlist but found this by one of the same artists, catchy as Hell! 

Makes me look forward to start riding my bike when the weather gets nicer. Right now the weather here has been really unpredictable temperature wise, one day it will be freezing cold and the next you could get by wearing a light sweater. It's been a dry season so there hasn't been any snow luckily. Safer driving.

Of course I shouldn't have to worry about any of the problems on the roads anymore because my first and only class is at 1 pm. Yup, today I realized I'm not cut out for a finance major. Last night I spent over 2 hours studying to make up the homework that was due Tuesday that I was unable to complete because of the book situation. I made these crazy detailed flash cards, not only to teach me Finance formulas but also to remember how to transfer information in income statements and working with the rules of balance sheets. 

Red flag. 

I haven't taken accounting in over a year and I was not prepared for that class. For some reason I figured finance would be much more similar to what I was used to but it was almost a whole different ballpark. And it's not like I had an easygoing professor, I was lucky enough to get stuck with the self-proclaimed "anal orifice." 

As you all know it's hard for me to lower my self standards on anything. When I realized I wasn't going to do the double major the first person I wanted to talk to about it was Terry because he'd switched from a finance major to economics pretty shortly after we'd first met. I don't think Terry actually ever took a finance class either, though. I know if he saw the amount of time consuming actuarial math and formula memorizing that class required he would have done the same thing. 

He was empathetic because he knew how much it means to me to succeed to my highest potential. He reminded me that it sucks when self realizations like this happen but "One major is plenty! : )" My parents talked it over and think it will also be better for me, especially because it will put me in a lot less debt. 

Alright I'm going to bed.

peace. 

nailed a few plywood boards over a burnt bridge

Evening everyone.

Today I've felt really intense because I've had a lot on my mind. Jake could actually read this on me at my lesson today. There was a lot that I would have talked about with him that had happened yesterday if I could but it was completely irrelevant and he doesn't need to know about my personal life. I'll talk about what happened on here for those few odd souls that read this blog (which, as I've always said, I appreciate because I know I ramble and don't edit these blogs grammatically as well as I should).

But yeah, my lesson today I had practiced about an hour beforehand but didn't play as well as I felt I should have. This was frustrating. But I don't know if my bad playing was what made me so mad. I kept on saying "shit" throughout the lesson and felt just... idk, not centered. This week my goal is to work on counting out loud. Something I've kind of dreaded because it's hard to do while you play if you don't know all the notes perfectly. Invention's note combinations are frustrating but Jake is continuing to show me tricks on how to get it down.

I've been doing a lot of practicing without counting or even using a metronome of any sort so even if I've learned the notes it doesn't sound nearly like it should and that is very frustrating. This week I need to work on it with guitar pro as well as better learn the notes on the second page.

Here's another incredible song by Puscifer that I've been listening too. What I've always loved about Tool's lead singer Maynard James Keenan is that his voice is so comprehensible that you have no problem understanding what he's saying but the challenge is figuring out what any of it means. 

Ha ha, I was going to post a picture of Keenan and I went to google image search and started typing "John Maynard Kaynes"... lmfao. Anyway I plan on learning a lot of Tool music after the recital. There is a lot of good guitar that needs to be learned how to play there.... 

Yesterday Katelynn and I went to the Parkade and met up with some of Ashleigh's friends like I have the last few wednesdays. Katelynn and I sort of found ourselves isolated in our own conversations. We don't mean to do that but it happens. Before we got there I had already had a few drinks so I had a decent buzz and didn't have to spend much money which was nice.

Katelynn and I walked down to Jack Didleys. There I saw Jessica S., Sarah V. and Celeste P. Jessica had actually noticed me before I had time to think about the situation. She gave me a hug and was like "Omg Emily you look so good!!  I love your hair, where have you been I haven't seen you in forever..." like that sort of thing. I was really shocked. She's one of these people that is pretty nice to everyone regardless of circumstances because she's never really had a reason to be jealous or have hard feelings toward anyone because things seem to have come relatively easy for her in her life. 

She was totally friendly and sweet and gorgeous like she's always been. The main reason why I carried so much anger toward her is that she used to easily get things in highschool that I thought I wanted: "cheer leading" team spot-- which would have been a complete nightmare for me if I had made it, playing time on the basketball team when I humiliatingly got none that year, and of course you know she was really popular within my own class and I never had that, she got some scholarships I didn't.... these things piled up over the years and by my senior year I pretty opennly didn't like her. We had Jone's class together and she would give some (usually somewhat "conservative") input and I'd usually be the first one to raise my hand and shoot down what she was saying. She'd come into class late and I'd roll her eyes at her. Stuff like that. It was funny I think she's somehow gotten my yearbook to sign and she wrote "Well I don't think you ever liked me that much but I hope you have a good summer!" or something like that. So obviously she knew that I didn't like her. So I brought it up to her last night.

I told her pretty straight out that I didn't like her because she was with Jack, which doesn't really explain why I'd hated her in highschool because she didn't actually date him until afterward. That's the only relevant thing to this date anyway. I told her we had a long history together though things never worked out. She was like, "Well he lives up at Central why don't you guys see eachother?" sigh.... ha ha ha. I'm like "We don't because he never seems to want to see me. Really the only time we ever saw eachother was when I wanted to show him up on guitar and that was it." Like I described that originally when I started playing I thought guitar would be the thing that would finally make him think I'm good enough to be with him and when that didn't work I finally just said fuck it, there's nothing I can do. 

Jessica told me that she and Jack got along great and they broke up because she went to school. At some point I'm sure he got ahold of me both before and after Jessica and him were together but again we never really executed any kind of plans and this was very painful each time. Jack finds girls relatively easily and he probably associated me with emotional baggage because I had told him time and time again that I f*cking hated him and wanted him out of my life. It was just a very horrifying situation for me and so much of me will always hate Jack for it. But he's dead to me now, he doesn't matter and for that reason I no longer have bad feelings for Jessica. She really is a nice person that didn't ever intentionally do anything to make me hate her. 

Alrighty well I'm gonna get going. My hands are kind of hurting so I think I'm going to relax with some sims tonight instead of practicing more. 

peace.

Woah, where the hell did you come from..

Yesterday at BC fireworks show

I've had a pretty interesting last couple days. I'm kind of excited to tell my few dedicated blog readers about this because I've been pretty quiet about it otherwise.

The other night I went out to the Parkade for karaoke night with Ashleigh. I had worked a couple days beforehand and I was ready to have fun and drink a little bit but I didn't expect I'd actually meet anyone at the bars. Anyway came in and it was really packed so we grabbed one of the tables towards the back near the pool tables. There was ONE bartender working.... She was absolutely swamped so we were patient. But the bad singing made me want a drink pronto.

I went up to the bar and actually only stood there for about 5 minutes before I got my first corona light. About half an hour after we got there two really cute kind of hispanic looking guys and their A. American girl friend came in.   I thought one of them was especially cute because he was tall, had light-olive undertone skin, dark hair, kind of Asian looking eyes... Lots of my favorite things, ha ha ha. Anyway shortly after they came in we'd switched tables to closer to the front. I have to admit I was sort of trying to catch glimpses at him from that point and wasn't as talkative with the people I came with as I could have been. My mind because kind of preoccupied.

Ashleigh was trying to get me to sing and I'm like nope... nope... -look down at my phone to check the time to see when karaoke was over... nope..

Taylor H., her boyfriend Jace and Terrance met us at the bar at around 12'. Ashleigh and I had walked to the gas station to buy some munchies that I was dying for and by the time I got back the cute guys had left. I sat back down at the table and drank a big glass of Angry orchard. 

The more I drink the more I want to dance. 

Ashleigh told me we were going to go to Jack Didley's after karaoke finished at 12 which was cool, I wanted to watch Ashleigh sing again anyway because she sings country and all the bar girls get into it, ha ha ha. Anyway after she sang I left the Parkade with this guy named George who knows Kinbri. I was really interested to talk to him because he knew what happened to this guy Collin that disappeared for awhile. Annnnyway...

We walked to Jack Didleys, I'd forgot my ID, then we had to walk back to the Parkade again to get my ID.... 

Then I proceeded to dance my ass off and have a fantastic time with Bradley H. I'm sure I've mentioned Bradley before.. He's a really sweet, fun, kinda flamey gay guy who's studying at the beauty academy in town. Anyway he came with some of his beauty school friends and we had suchhh a fun time drinking and dancing for awhile. I saw Rose B. there too, her son Rayne just turned 4. 

I did meet this other guy, I think his name was Luis or something. Normal baseball hat wearing, "white t" kind of guy. I didn't have any intention of leaving with him but I'd lost my friends so we danced for awhile. He was nice and bought me a water bottle but yeah... I was just planning on going back to Ashleigh's house and crashing for the night after the club closed. I actually got invited to a couple parties by these rapper looking guys while I was at the bar who saw me dancing to "Black and Yellow" and said I was good. ha ha ha I was honored

So fast forward. Almost 2 am, I'm pretty buzzed and wondering where my friends that I'd came with that hadn't stuck around the club very long. They had gone back to drink more beer at the Parkade and when I came back I noticed Terrance was talking to the girl that the guys had come in with. They were all standing outside the bar with Ashleigh, Steven, etc... smoking cigarettes.

I walked up and I was actually too shy to talk to the guy I'd noticed earlier initially so I introduced myself to his friends. The girl's name was TK. The other hispanic guy that they'd come with left but there was now a bald Croatian guy with a beard that was chilling with them. I'd talked to them for about 30 minutes before I actually met Eric (the cute one I'd been checking out all night) who's house we were going to after the bars closed.

Ashleigh, Steven and I loaded up into his car and we headed over to Pasco where Eric's house is. Steven was kind of pissing me off because he was like "Well I'm glad you're hooking up with this guy instead of that guy you were dancing with." I'm like "What? I don't hook up with anyone." Which is true. I was just dancing at the club and having a good time, it doesn't mean anything. 

But we did go to Eric's freaking nice house that he lives in on his own (he's 26), drank a little more, hung out there for awhile... I was pretty stoked because Eric was like flirtatious with me and I just thought he seemed intelligent so I was just trying to play it off as cool as I could so he didn't get the wrong first impression or something.

The people I came with stuck around until about 5 in the morning after Eric and I had actually laid down. I didn't sleep at all that night. I just kind of laid there with my eyes closed with a lot of things going through my mind. Like what I was going to do the next day for 4th of July and how I was going to go back to Ashleigh's to get my car the next day..... and stuff like that.... 

But yeah, Eric is really cool and I'd like to see him again. He seems really confident, beautiful smile, he's half Columbian and speaks Spanish. He obviously has hobbies just by looking around his house like snowboarding and 4-wheeling. That and he's 26 which probably means he's got his shit together. Yeah, crossing my fingers we'll see what happens.  

peace.