The day Marshall disappeared

Me after a horrible, terrible night... my lord.... 

Well this evening had to have been the worst evening I can recall this year. Exceeds even the crappy writing assignment that I waited to do until the last day in my management class.

Marshall disappeared for about 10 hours. I thought he was gone for good and my stomach is still nauseous from the stress of the experience. I can't remember the last time I cried so much or felt so helpless.

So today actually started out a good day. I'm done with my midterms and think I did really well on my macro final. I studied practically all night for it. Marshall was of course sitting in the living room waiting patiently for me to go to bed until 3 am... After the hours I'd studied last night I felt okay, sort of like I could go in and get a C. For the night that was good enough after studying for about 3 hours just to get caught up on the reading and homework.

This morning I woke up earlier than usual to study more. Marshall was right on my pillow where he usually ends up by 5 am. I got up at 8 and got ready, went to two Subways (the first one wasn't the right one, apparently) and came back and studied more. Morning was as usual, Marshall went downstairs and ate when I went downstairs and turned on my computer and made a pot of coffee. He sat on my lap while I studied for the next three hours.

Like I said, I think the test went really well. I'll  tell you the exact score on Friday if Wassell finishes grading them. Ironically enough the only two multiple choice questions that really stumped me were the first two on the test. But I think I did really well on the essay questions.

After doing well on the econ test I decided to go to the surc and treat myself to some lunch. Today I happened to be wearing that batman jacket that I wore to the con because I need to do my laundry. I had noticed a really cute guy that seemed to be looking at me but I thought he could be looking at something else and kept walking. I got myself a cheeseburger (with the intention to workout afterward, gotta get that protein!) and sat down to draw for awhile.

I was working on my sketch of Connor C. when I looked up and noticed the cute guy looking at me again. I look back down. Look up again, repeat. We kept making eye contact. He was sitting with a group of other people-- a pretty cute sporty looking girl and another guy who at the time I thought could be either Mexican or Filipino (turns out he's Thai).

Get this, about 5 minutes after I sat down his guy friend walked up to me and introduced himself. He's like "I'm sorry I don't want you to think our table was like creeping out on you or anything but that jacket is awesome!!.."(referring to my batgirl jacket) I was so surprised I'm like "...Yeah, totally!.." and we started talking for awhile. I asked him how old "his friend" was and he said "24." (good, not 18). He ended up introducing us to eachother and we really hit it off today.

His name is Ben. He apparently started out as a music major but realized (like most people) how extremely difficult and useless it is to be a music major unless you want to teach and switched out. He's planning on being a middle school social studies teacher now. Anyway. When he was in the music major his main instrument was guitar so when I heard that I was like "I play guitar too!!!" and of course that led to lots to talk about...

I'm really excited to see him again, he seems interesting.

After I scarfed that delicious hamburger I hit the gym. Today was a good workout, nothing out of the ordinary.

Coming home I noticed Marshall didn't run out like always. He usually meets me at the door. I had noticed that today was especially beautiful and that it was likely he was still playing with Monkey. No problem. I went inside and started doing the dishes and whatever other little things I had to do around the house. After a couple hours of being home I started to feel concerned. It wasn't like Marshall to at least check in. I started pacing around the neighborhood calling his name.

Of course the neighbor kids were following me wanting to know what's up. My neighbor's sort of... erm... slow.... son Kamau kept saying "Emily...! Emily...! Did you lose him?...Did he run away? Is he lost? Did you lose him?"Making me even more nervous. At about 6' (5 hours since the last time I'd seen him) I decided to go make signs. I spent half my printing money in the library today printing "Missing!" signs and spent my evening posting them all over Brooklane.

A few strangers spotted me doing this and asked what was going on and each time I broke into tears. To me it felt like I'd lost a child. Living alone I feel like Marshall provides a lot of comfort for me and the thought of losing that scared the hell out of me. And the fact that I hadn't gotten him a collar and a tag to identify who he belongs to made me extremely angry and guilty.

Finally after posting the signs all over the complex and calling his name with no avail I gave up. I went back to my apartment and started practicing guitar to get my mind off it. My friend Jon called at around 10 pm and I started crying my eyes out again, saying it was so unusual for him to disappear like this. He told me everything was going to be okay and as much as I appreciated it I didn't believe it. I was expecting the worst.

Jon G. and my friend Daniel H. from my pre-calc class unexpectedly showed up to make sure I was okay... They actually went looking for him before they came over, too. I was so grateful they did that, I couldn't believe it. We all hung out for about an hour and a half watching family guy before all of a sudden, passed midnight I hear "Mew...! Mew! Mew" at the door and rush to open it without a second thought.

There's Marshall, he ran in around midnight.... I was so incredibly relieved and thankful. I realized how much I truly loved him but how mischievous and unpredictable he can be. First thing tomorrow I'm getting him a tag and a collar. Before he leaves his apartment again, I swear. Then if he runs off again I know I've done everything I can do to ensure his safety.

I'm just so relieved... God I haven't felt that awful in a long time.

peace. 

Quit spilling sh*t on my floor, cat! And classes winter 2014

Typing on this mac computer is incredibly annoying..

I'm sitting in the library waiting for an econ meeting at 4:30 pm. I would normally be home at this time but today I had to drive (and walk... mostly... Every time I use my car here it's such a waste of time) to Barge Hall to get a hold lifted from my account so I can register. I'm actually waitlisted in my intermediate microeconomics class at 7:30 am. I did have an option of taking it with another professor at an easier time but it would require me to take it with a much harder professor.


I just texted Terry to tell him my schedule and we're both taking intermediate micro. The war wages on!! He's also taking pre-calc and intermediate macro. It's been forever since I took pre-calc, that was a nice one to get out of the way early..

Next quarter I'm also taking an "Intro to financial management" and a "Principles of management" class online. I would much rather take that in person because the professor is Chinese. That and I generally dislike online classes because of the motivation it takes to check regularly online. But I'm going to put forth all of my effort.. I'm going to have to, next quarter I've got my first 400 level classes.

Today I finally got my eyebrows waxed and my bangs trimmed. That was really needed, my bangs were so long that the shortest part of them completely covered my left eye. Blegh. Anytime my bangs get that long my hair has a tendency to get greasy because I'm continually having to swipe them out of my face. Not a good look on anyone.

Okay it's 4:15 pm, I'm going to be late if I don't head out here pretty soon. Overall I've been good lately. The bigger Marshall gets the more daring he gets and he's got this bad habit of climbing on the curtains. He's also extremely persistent when he begs for food whenever I'm eating something. He'll stick his face into any drink and spill anything.

But I've still been feeling a lot happier.

peace.

Wow, feeling 20x happier today...

I think I might have finally found what I needed to make me happy here.

Lol can you see him? This is Marshall, I adopted him yesterday at the pet store in town.

I seriously could not be happier. Having this little guy to come home to after class has made me feel so much less alone in this place. Because I realize that not having a cat was what has made me feel so lonely! When I'm not living with other people I feel the most productive and content, and for said reason I'm never going to have a roommate again in my life. So it was really hard for me to figure out why I felt so bad-- like I wanted to be alone but didn't.. It was all just because I wanted something to feel unconditional love from and to take care of. Friendships don't satisfy that.

Adopting a cat from a pet store in town was not as cheap as picking up a free barn cat from a litter on craigslist but for me it was totally worth it. I knew that pets adopted out from small pet stores are usually very well bred and taken care of prior to release. Marshall was already litter box trained when I got him which has saved me a lot of hassle. 

So yeah I've just been 20x more calm and happy since I got him... He's can be very playful and curious but also very loving and relaxed with me. He has a little whiny cry right now and "mews" a lot to get my attention when he wants something-- which is usually just to be picked up. He can't climb the stairs but he's already really used to me carrying him around. When I first got him yesterday he made me nervous when I'd try to pick him up and he'd whine in pain and tense up like Michiko does but he stopped doing that too. 

Today I had a public finance test that I think I did pretty well on. I got a 75% on that Money and banking quiz-- pretty sucky but the grade I expected to get after not studying as well as I should have. I'm REALLY hoping Ghosh gives us back that test and the quiz tomorrow... that's getting old.

I am developing a crush on a guy in my Money and Banking class. The more I've noticed him the cuter I think he is. Unfortunately I know he has a girlfriend. At this point I quite honestly do not care.... if he ends up talking to me that is. All of our conversations we've had to this point have been very school related and "small talk-y." Definitely not flirtatious. 

peace. 

Last week of summer. Cat in danger...?

Finally. Officially 7 more days until I move...

Still sucks that I'm stuck moving the DAY BEFORE school starts.... But hey beggers can't be choosers, especially this late in the game and I'm lucky enough to get a 1-bedroom. I'm really excited to be living in Brooklane because even if it's just another apartment on campus it's still a new place. I've been trying to find a floor layout to show you guys but my connection is being retarded.

I worked the past few days, which honestly meant limited practice time aside from getting the chance to complete this video that I've been meaning to do for awhile:

Ha, you can always tell when I'm concentrating really hard because my nostrils flare up. 

I try to avoid this unappealing face on video and at recitals so I try to practice to the point that I don't need to think so hard.

Let's see, I work at 5'.. That'll be a nice short shift. Then I work Thursday from 11-4 pm, then I'm DONEEE! woohoooo! I'll be happy to tell Jake about my accomplishment on the completed video this week, and he'll also be happy that I took the guitar in the shop finally. Not having my electric the past few days has forced me to play with my acoustic which sometimes I find much more enjoyable. 

Today I'm going to work on In Keeping Secrets Silent Earth, primarily for MEMORIZATION. Jake's been hammering that into my head every lesson since the last recital and this last one he was like 

"Why don't you listen to me? You should listen to me! Stop relying on those damn tabs!"

I'm like

Lol isn't that so stinking cute? I watched the movie Hotel Transylvania over at Tyler's house recently, I loved it. Since I went over there I can't find my DS which is pissing me off to no end that I'd be so stupid to leave it somewhere. So many hundreds of hours invested into those damn pokemon games... the past few days I have been getting better sleep so maybe it's best that I put this hobby to bed.................... actually no, I want my DS.

I need to figure out where my student loan money's at and how to get access to it. I also need to call my doctor to see if I can get a refill on my perscription... He didn't call me back the last time I tried so I need to keep working on it. Yesterday I forgot to take prozac and this morning my body felt super sore and stiff, it was somewhat disturbing. But yeah that's just a reminder that I need to get this taken care of. 

My family has been trying to convince me to not take Miranda to college with me... They think that having her in the apartment without the ability to go outside freely is going to have adverse effects on her health and wellbeing. Though I have a hard time believing this myself, the thought of it gives me a ping of indifference on whether or not I should take her. 

She's been acting so weird lately ever since I got the boxes out and I'm convinced it's because she knows that I'm leaving again... This is why I just want to give this a chance to see if she would like to stay with me. If she doesn't I'll bring her home, easy as that. They're also convinced that I'm going to "let her run away" if I bring her up the day of the move. Uh no, we'll bring her in a cat carrier. 

My sister is really angry about me taking her and hasn't really spoke to me in days. Well you know what too bad, she has a boyfriend that's here to keep her company practically 24-7. I'm alone. Case closed. 

peace.