go with the flow

Hmm. Not the best day but not the worst either, just a typical monday.

I was initially sort of nervous of how Terry and I were going to interact today, if at all, considering that we hung out this weekend and we haven't spoken much since. He was fine, it was pretty much like last monday where we didn't say much of anything to eachother. Obviously if I were to try to catch him every time we walk out of BOTH classes that we have together it would freak him out and make him think that I'm clingy. I am not clingy or demand attention what-so-ever and the last thing I would want is for him to think that.

Things always ef up for girls when either
A. You have sex with the person before they get to know you or 
B. You act too clingy or act like you need the person. 

Now I don't have a boyfriend myself but I've been through enough that I understand the system if someone likes you. If I don't do either of these things, and he decides he doesn't want to hang out or talk to me anymore then that's just his choice and the way it's meant to be and I wouldn't feel like I did anything wrong.

Again I'm not worried about it, but today I sort of gauged how things are going to be between us. We both like space, I have to continue to give him space and let him text/talk to me as much as possible I think. We had a blast when we hung out with eachother-- even if we're quite argumentative and competitive about things. Hanging out with him kind of reminded me of hanging out with Jacob which really appealed to me. I really like guys with high self esteems, self worth and have their priorities in order at least to a degree.

So yeah, I guess I can admit to you guys that I have a crush. To be honest I'm quite scared about my feelings for this person so I barely flirt at all. He's intimidating because he's very intelligent like I am and the last thing I want him thinking is that I'm a giggly bimbo like the girls in my comm class. Acting less intelligent than I am has caused me to lose a couple guy's interest, and each time after I reflected upon it I felt absolutely silly. That was years ago, though, I have better control over the things I say and do now. I just have to be myself around him, 100%, and whatever happens happens.

Well anyways today's been pretty productive. I've felt kind of lethargic because I went to bed kind of early last night then woke up at 5'. You think that would make me more energized but I actually function a lot better when I stay up somewhat. I actually took a little nap after my statistics class today.

Professional speaking was interesting enough because there were personal introductions. Bradley was like on speed during his speech, he had drank a redbull right beforehand. I am looking forward to doing my speech tomorrow, I've been preparing for it in front of the mirror while I get ready in the morning. Bradley told me that he never rehearses.  I remember when I didn't rehearse or try hardly at all in my speech class at CBC and you could tell.

Well BOTH of my students canceled today. I feel like I've been trying to reschedule them for weeks

So what am I going to do?

Study, play guitar and watch intervention. Yup, the usual. 

peace.