I've got soo much on my mind right now. It's 12:30 pm, spent a little time BSing on facebook before I decided to write.


I worked until about 11:30 pm tonight. Kids was an absolute mess because of back to school shopping. I'm exhausted. No luck with findmores or credit apps today because I was more focused on trying to work as hard as I could to fix some of the havoc. I have no doubt that my coworkers are trying their hardest. It's just very difficult to keep up with people. I have recently developed a much better knack of locating items on the floor in childrens, which is a lot to remember when I'm trying to help maintain both fitting rooms. Blegh. Lots of running around. Which I like... I keep busy which makes the time go faster. I feel like I do help customers and they generally appreciate my help but I rarely push the credit cards or hassling people to buy shit online.

I saw a few really sweet kids today. A hispanic family walked up and their daughter said "You look pretty" just totally out of the blue. Their were wearing these little matching hair piece things that I'd said looked pretty too. There was also this super cute little blonde girl that came with her parents and her Dad's brother or something that looked about my age. She said "Hi!" to me just out of the blue and waved and I'm like "Hi how are you?" I'd mentioned the family because that guy that looked about my age knocked over a rack of skirts and actually helped me put it back up because the stupid screw wasn't working.

I don't know, in retrospect today was a very good day at work. It might have not been perfect in there when we left but I definitely worked as hard as I could and feel like I'm generally getting better at my job. Good news for me because I'm almost positive I'm going to be in kids for the rest of the month. I mean I realize now that they kind of need me there, I mean it needs help more than the downstairs does, so I just need to stop bitching about not working downstairs.

There. That's the last I will speak of it. I kind of groaned when I learned I was working upstairs today but I know now it's just for my own selfish reasons-- you know I just wanted to work with Katelynn, Angie, Chad, etc... That's not logical, it's just bullshit selfishness. Shame on me, lol.

Okay enough about work...



Texted Jay a little bit today. Well I got one text this morning in response to the one I'd sent him last night. I admit I do feel sort of awkward when I send him a text and I don't get a response at all.. like you know I'll double-read it like "Did that sound stupid?" Ha ha. But yeah I'm not worried about it because for all I know he might not even have a phone charger where he is. He's on a work trip all weekend doing construction, after an entire week of 5-day shifts.

\Here's Patrick, Janell, and Seth D. I've actually talked to Seth somewhat extensively because I was pretty interested in the cross country trip that they took. Jannell is dating Patrick, who worked with Katelynn at Wal Mart. Patrick's a pretty unique guy, I can appreciate his personality but we've never really connected so I've always thought of him more as an acquaintance than Seth who I feel is my friend. 

I try not to think about Jay that much because it's dawned on me how weird it is that we're actually spending time together and don't know if it's going to last because of our previous experience. I honestly thought I had burned my bridge with him completely after texting him that day back like... last August before I moved out. I remember I'd been at Samantha's house that day. Jannell had come up in a conversation, who had just hung out with Samantha awhile earlier. Samantha and Jannell are pretty good friends, Jannell and Jay are also good friends... Me and Jannell however have never really clicked. Anyway when samantha had brought her up it had made me think about the previous radcon and how frustrated the second day had made me when he "bailed" and was raving about it to Jannell that night. Turns out he actually wasn't at the con that day because he was hungover, but I'd taken it like he was doing it to blow me off.

So I texted him all pissed off and was like "I heard you're a player" and yadda yadda ya... it was so stupid. He replied, "... what was the point of you sending me these messages?" lol...


I don't know now that I look back on it, it seriously sounds doesn't even sound like me. I have enough confidence that I'm a different person than I used to be to some degree. But I still think back to some of the things that Jay said to me when I was younger about how much my personality bothered him which still makes me think he's not going to stick around long. So I try not to think about it either way and just let things roll. But yeah, of course I have to write everything out to make sense of my thoughts lately.

peace.