1:08 pm:

Today's been pretty fun, good day so far. Barely anyone was in Econ this morning. Terry and the crazy lady skipped. There are some people that never skip, like Nathaniel. I forgot his last name again. But I did add this guy from my statistics class that I've wanted to meet for weeks.

His name is Kieran and he's like the funniest, friendliest, coolest guy. I can't even explain it, his personality is extremely magnetic. You can just tell he'd be a person a lot of people would want at their parties.. He's pretty intelligent and has helped me with a couple lab assignments. 

Initially he reminded me of someone that would be on TV so I caught myself literally staring at him in class because I wanted to figure out what actor he reminded me of. When I  added him today I realized he'd done it himself:

Anyway yeah I managed to sit by him in lab today. He's also friends with the girl with the cross hands ring as well as another guy with a hipster look that always uses his laptop during class. Wow I know I've mentioned "girl with the cross hand ring" a number of times in this blog because I still don't know what her name is. I initially thought she was really annoying when she was in my class in accounting but I've actually grown to like her as being a more lively people in a group. She used to be really chatty in Holtfreter's class, but really hasn't been in our other classes so I might have judged her too quickly. I try not to judge people by their skin color (super tan) or hair color (bleach blonde) again. For some reason those biases grew inside of me but I realize how that judging people only breeds hate.

 I wouldn't want someone to judge me just on my looks. 

Looks are typically the initial source of attraction, which I've been lucky with.

Honestly in the past my personality drove most men away. I was very insecure. I would end up sabotaging it by either freaking out without the guy knowing what they did or acting kind of.. err, obsessive, because I couldn't deal with the emotions. Either way it would end, and I would normally feel MUCH better about my life again in a couple of days. 

Today I don't have hardly any emotions, which helps. I feel that now that my teenage years are over my brain is starting to really develop and focus on what's most important. 

I'll write later. 

5/11. 1:29 am

I.... am.... drunk. Is that tacky to tell you all this? It's harder for me to write right now because I drank a bottle of wine. My friend Evan drove over from the Tri cities to hang out with Brad and I. I picked up a bottle of this strawberry wine at Happy's and downed it in about an hour and a half. I honestly haven't drank in quite awhile. 

Right now my brain feels completely retarded. There's no way I could play the guitar or exercise or do anything productive. If this is what "functioning" alcoholics are trying to prove works for them... then they're... not.. Not fooling anyone. Something like that. ugh fudge it

peace.