THIS IS GOING TO HAVE A LOT OF PICTURES, SORRY ABOUT THE PAGE STRETCHING.
Okay, so as I've told a few people, I've always wanted dark brown eyes. So now, I'm considering getting dark brown contacts. I am going to make an appointment at the eye doctor for Wednesday, and I already have my perscription so it shouldn't take long at all. Unfortunately, because my perscription is really weird, I might not get the exact color that I want.
My eyes are hazel, which is a rare color, and a lot of people think my eyes are really pretty. I love my eyes--they're my favorite part of my face. They're huge, and I love their shape and I like how they're not too close together or two far apart. I however, have deep rooted issues about the color.
This story may sound a little silly, but I'll tell you anyway...
When I was a kid, so many times when I was with my mom and sister and my mom would talk to someone she knows, my sister's eyes would be brought up. As many of my friends know, my sister has really pretty light blue eyes. She has an extremely rare color.
Like this.
They would always be like, "Oh!! Avery's eyes are so pretty! Wow, that color is incredible!" And, not wanting to hurt my feelings, they would say "Oh, and yours are nice too..." I always knew they were just humoring me because my eye color is nothing special at all.
The main reason why I want to get brown eye contacts is to have my eye color appear to be the polar opposite of my sisters.
What I find beautiful: Brunette, pale skin, dark eyes.
The next reason is that Magibon, who I think is the most gorgeous person in the world, has brown eyes. Therefore I want brown eyes too. I think my face would look a lot better with brown eyes, personally.
Needless to say, like most fashion and beauty things that I like to do, my mom totally disagrees. She said that by having brown eyes, I will inevitably suck all the color out of my face "like I did with the black ones". The black ones were COSTUME contacts. Those aren't meant to be worn on a daily basis. I think brown ones would look way more natural. It was obvious that the black ones aren't real, but it wouldn't be so much with the brown ones.
What my mom thinks is beautiful is basically this, which is everything I like to contradict in the way that I look.
What my Mom Finds Beautiful.
blonde: My mom and sister are super-blonde, and my Mom always tells me that I look better with blonde hair. I couldn't disagree more.
I think I look ugly as shit with blonde hair. My hair looks unhealthy and fried. The only times in my life that I've EVER dyed my hair blonde was when, sadly enough, I thought it would be attractive to guys. I've always HATED how I looked blonde. And they fact that I did it thinking that OTHER people would like it more makes me even more sick. Getting brown contacts has NOTHING to do with other people, it's about me, and only me.
Tan: My sister always goes tanning, where she'll either get a spray tan or do a tanning bed. My mom used to scorch her skin every summer in California. Because my mom and sister have the same skin, the tan actually improves the way their skin looks..
But not me.
But not me.
This is me last summer after a sunburn. Notice how rutty and nasty my skin looks. I like myself pale. Though my mom and sister might disagree, I think it makes me look a lot prettier because it's more doll-like, which is what I go for.
But for me back in middle school, these spray tans were the reason I got ridiculed because people called me Orange. My mom thought it would be a good idea. Spray tanning always looks super streaky on me because I've got my dad's mormon side skin, where it's super white and nearly freckle free when I'm not exposed to much sun. All the sun does for me, naturally tanning, makes my skin look ruttier and ugly.
You get the point...
My mom and sister will never understand WHY I like to look a certain way, and why I will never conform to the American steriotype of "hottness" with tan skin, blonde hair and blue eyes. I actually like how I look as the polar opposite, and I think I look prettier this way.
Just had to get this off my chest.
Yours,
Emily
I'm curious to know what has shaped what you like. Do you like the opposite of what your mom and sister like just because your mom and sister like it? Do you like dark hair/eyes because they look more Japanese? What if Avery and you mom liked dark hair/eyes? Would it make you like light hair/eyes instead?
ReplyDeleteI'm also curious as to whether or not the same motivations shaped your taste in music too. I'm just curious; there's nothing wrong with what you like, I guess I just want to understand it better.
I wrote a super long comment and then Google fucked up and erased it all, so this is the short form. If you like what you like because it's the opposite of what someone else likes, isn't that defeating the purpose of not caring what others think?
If you like what you do because you like and no other reason, more power to ya. And I definitely don't mean this to be rude or condescending, I'm just curious.
It also reminds me of the South Park episode where everyone decides to be goth so they can "stick it to the man" and be "opposite" and "nonconformist" when actually, they're all just conforming to the goth stereotype, which makes them all the same.
BTW this is Katharine. I guess I'm still signed in as photo editor lol.